Diga Tio Chapter I - Bad Chemistry

Diga Tio: A Tale of Family & Friendship
Chapter I: "Bad Chemistry"
Rating: T (Adult Language & Themes)
*J.K. Rowling owns Severus Snape & Minerva McGonagall, Lady_Macbeth_1755 owns the Irish Black Family (Evelyn, Caitlin, Sophia, Alice & Elizabeth). Dr. Paulo Pereira is our brainchild and this is his story.

The year is 2008. It has been well over 9 years since Severus Snape survived the attack by Lord Voldemort's pet serpent, Nagini, at the end of the Second Wizarding War. Since then, his life has taken a positive turn. He has been living an idyllic new life in his cozy Hogsmeade abode; once again teaching Defensive Magic at Hogwarts and married to squib and fellow professor, Evelyn (née Black: granddaughter of Marius Black, Sr. who was born a squib, excommunicated from the wizarding Black family and settled in County Clare, Ireland) for 7 years, with whom he has a 2-year-old son, Soren. As the only adult male in a family consisting of 5 women (Evelyn, her sister Caitlin, nieces Alice & Elizabeth, and mother Sophia), he has taken on the role of patriarch and the responsibility of keeping them all safe from dangers ranging from rogue Death Eaters to potential abusive partners.

Suddenly, Severus' near-perfect new life is turned upside-down when Caitlin's relationship with her co-worker, Portuguese Pathologist Dr. Paulo Pereira, blossoms from friendship and cooperation during a crisis to full-fledged romance. Severus is jaded by her past mishaps with men - most notably her ex-husband, and instinctively perceives the doctor as an immediate threat to the entire family, and shows no signs of leaving the family (which, Severus is well-aware, would mean breaking Caitlin's heart). However, this new entity that initially rubs him in all the wrong directions will soon prove to be just what the doctor ordered, not just for the Black women, but for Severus as well.

One frigid February morning, Severus Snape suddenly woke to the sound of a toddler's mirth that reverberated from the timber rafters of his home in Hogsmeade. Sensing one half of his bed was empty but still warm, he realized his wife Evelyn had already woken and left the room to tend to her morning affairs. 8:26... a little earlier than he would have liked to get out of bed on a Saturday. Alas, having a lie-in on weekends was one of the many prices paid for the bliss of parenthood. The sight of frost crisping on the leaded window was a certain sign of plummeting winter temperatures, so getting his toasty arse out of bed proved to be a more agonizing sacrifice than anticipated. He pulled the thick comforter up to his stubble-coated neck, relishing the womb-like warmth inside this cotton and goose-down chrysalis. 10 more minutes of sleep won't hurt anybody, right?

"Brr... Mummy, it's COLD! Mummy! Fecking cold!" boomed his son Soren's sassiness from the staircase.

"Soren, you're going to make Mummy deaf, and don't talk like that, sweetheart! Those words are ugly." he faintly heard Evelyn murmur.

The boy was born curious and cheeky as a vervet monkey. He had recently entered his notorious 'Terrible Twos', and was proving to be a precocious talker. Of course, he inherited his verbal talents from his mother's family – 'Irish Parrots', the lot of them! And after some reprimanding for repeating the real swears that have no place anywhere near a child's ears or mouth – something for which Severus had only himself to blame – and being taught their more socially-acceptable alternatives, Soren felt the need to express himself by using them at will. Of course being such a young child, he had not yet realized that just because he *can* say something, doesn't mean he understood *when* to say it, and found the universe of swearing extremely amusing.

Unable to repress the smile his son's unceasing antics curled on his thin lips, Severus reluctantly departed the incubating sanctuary of his bed, covered himself in his fleece nightgown and headed to the kitchen. Soren seemed particularly full of boundless energy this morning and Evelyn will need an extra set of hands.

"Good morning, handsome!" greeted Evelyn with a light kiss on his lips.

"Mmmm... Morning!" he replied as he yawned and stretched. He then tousled Soren's stringy black hair while the child sat on his elevating layer of cushions with his bowl of porridge already in front of him, "Morning, Half-Pint!"

"Hi Daddy... Daddy, Fecking cold, Daddy!" Soren beamed.

"Indeed, it is quite cold, Soren. But we don't need to say words like that all the time."
Soren seemed be ingesting more porridge with his hands and shirt than with his mouth. His weaning process had been somewhat delayed and the boy had was not taking kindly to it. Though who could blame him? Severus mused as he hungrily regarded his wife's curves from behind, silhouetted in her silky beige nightgown, as she poured them each a cup of tea.

Taking his usual seat next to his son, Severus snatched his bowl away from him and began to feed him with some difficulty. He had noticed several months ago that Soren ate more enthusiastically when he was visually entertained. Taking his wand from out of the pocket of his nightgown he cast a spell that sent a colorful flock of Lady Gouldian finches to fly around his son, after vanishing the porridge adorning his face and shirt with a nonverbal Scourgify, of course.

Before Evelyn sat next to her husband, she placed his usual breakfast of whole grain toast with melted cheese, tomato and a sprig of basil in front of him. As she settled with her own bowl of oatmeal, she nudged Severus' shoulder with her knuckle to grab his attention. Caught by surprise, he looked at her hand and noticed she held a laminated newspaper clipping clenched solidly between her thumb and index finger.

"Look what arrived from Cat this morning, Love!"

"What's this?" He inquired blearily, taking the offered clipping from his wife.

"It's an article from the Clare Champion about her trial!" her answer could barely hide the sheer glee resonating from the back of her throat.

"Oh... I see."

"Well, don't go giving yourself a coronary!" Evelyn retorted at his nonchalance toward this bit of news. She had known Severus Snape a little over a decade and by now had grown accustomed to his nihilistic demeanour, but that still did not eliminate the fun in mocking him for his outward displays of disinterest. After all, she knew quite well how much he and her sister adored each other like siblings, and he confidentially could not have been happier for her achievements and good news arriving from Ireland.

And this bit of polymer-coated newsprint may have well been detailing the greatest achievement in Caitlin Black's entire nursing career!

Severus gave his wife a silly glare, quirking his eyebrows and curling his thin lips into a sarcastic grin as he examined the clipping. He regarded it for a few seconds, scanning it up and down and turning it over to see it continued on the back side. It was a piece from non-other than the Champion's front page headline.

"DEELY TWINS FOUND GUILTY"he read the headline aloud. Directly below it was a printed a large black and white photograph of his sister-in-law walking down the steps of the Limerick District Courthouse tightly next to and exchanging a triumphant glance with a bespectacled man dressed in a suit and trench coat. The only time Severus had seen Caitlin dressed as smartly – wearing a modest black jacket with a knit turtleneck and a wool scarf – as she was in this grainy monochrome image was at her ex-husband's funeral.

Severus continued on and read the caption below the picture. "Pathologist Dr. Paulo Pereira, MD (right) and nurse Caitlin Black, RN, (left) exiting the Limerick Circuit Courthouse on Friday, January 11, where they provided the most critical testimony in the trial of Phillip and Rhiannon Deely, now convicted for attempted murder of their father, County Clare Thoroughbred tycoon Roger Deely."

"Pereira, eh? So this is the Lusitanian dunderhead who's been courting your sister." He chuckled lightly.

"Let me see..." Evelyn took the clipping back from him. As she made to take a look at the photograph, she swiftly rolled it into a tube and whacked her husband as hard as a thin laminated newspaper would allow on the back of the head, causing a loud 'WHOP'.

"OW... Fuck, Evelyn!" He exclaimed more from the shock of the noise and that she actually struck him rather than any pain that could have possibly resulted from her paper assault, "What was that for?"

"FECK, Daddy!" Soren corrected his father's swear excitedly, his eyes still focused on the motley flock of conjured finches that continued to flutter about in front of him.

"BE NICE! And honestly, Severus, do you really have to wonder where your offspring picks up his colorful vocabulary?"

"Feh!" He scoffed "'Nice'? Why bother? You know your sister's track record with men better than I do." He plowed on, ignoring Evelyn's point on Soren's new favorite pastime. "This quack is either going to break her heart just like everybody else or he's just the flavour of the week... and if the latter is the case... Eeesh!" he wrinkled his large, hooked nose at the sight of the man in the photograph, "Cat must really like salt cod!"

"Oh really? Well as if you didn't know, they have been dating since the weekend of the trial a month ago. Besides, I don't care where he's from; I think Dr. Pereira's rather cute, and apparently a noble catch, for a refreshing change."

"Do you?" He gasped, with a hint of indignation tainting his voice.

"Well, yes. Certainly better than Sean bloody Sullivan, in my opinion! Then again, Sean was never really my type, what with lacking a brain and a purpose that benefited society and all... God have mercy on his wretched soul. That's where poor Cat always found herself in trouble."

"What makes him so different from Sullivan or the two or three other sods she's been with?"

"Sev, you can't be serious? He's a Doctor, for Christ's sake, not some sauced-up dead-beat!"

"His first name could be 'Doctor'!"

"Oh just hush and read the bloody article will you?"

Smirking at his wife's irritation, Severus cleared his throat and proceeded to digest the article sentence by sentence, mumbling its content slightly aloud.

Saturday, January 12, 2008 (LIMERICK) One of Ireland's most respected businessmen can live the remainder of his life at peace and in good health after yesterday's final verdict of the trial that has ultimately condemned his former heirs to a sentence of 25 years in prison. The bulk of the credit goes to the bold and heroic efforts of an Oxford-educated pathologist and a local nurse at Ennis Community Hospital who uncovered the horrific plot Mr. Roger Deely's adopted twins and now former heirs of his estate, Phillip and Rhiannon (both 44) had concocted to hasten their inheritance.

Roger Deely (71) President of Deely Farms, Inc. in Eyrehill, County Clare had generated his own extreme wealth and became one of Ireland's most prosperous entrepreneurs breeding some of the world's finest Thoroughbred horses. Foals from his stock have won championship races at tracks as remote as Santa Anita, Louisville and Hialeah, USA; Caymanas in Kingston, Jamaica and Gavea in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. Lauded as a true lover of animals and humanity alike, Mr. Deely pioneered methods in preserving equine safety both on the track and in-transport and supported inmate rehabilitation programs that utilize horses as a means to set convicted juvenile delinquents on the right track for life once they are released from prison.

A lifelong bachelor, Mr. Deely was not yet thirty years old when he adopted two-year-old twins Philip and Rhiannon from an orphanage in Belfast, and raised them as the heirs of his booming equine empire. What at first seemed like his most noble humanitarian deed, providing orphan twins with the dream opportunity of a life of luxury, quickly became a nightmare: one that Mr. Deely would come to regret. The twins developed into unruly hooligans, both arrested several times on drug, firearms and violence charges. However, their father's doors remained open and Mr. Deely consistently welcomed them back home, dispensing whatever they needed as a token of everlasting parental forgiveness.
In late 2004, Mr. Deely was diagnosed with stage-3 metastic melanoma and treated at Ennis Community Hospital's Oncology unit under the direct care of Registered Nurse and now Unit Director, Caitlin Black (39). Undergoing a treatment regimen that included twelve rounds of radiation, chemotherapy and three surgeries for a year, Mr. Deely was pronounced cancer-free and resumed his life-defining equestrian pursuits.

However, less than eight months later, Mr. Deely was readmitted to Ennis Community where the Oncology Unit discovered that the cancer had relapsed, this time in his lymph nodes. Mr. Deely then underwent another year of treatment. However, while the tests kept returning positive results and remission, the nursing staff at Ennis, spearheaded by Ms. Black, noted more and more deterioration in Mr. Deely's overall health.

"The tumor markers and biopsies kept bringing promising results," commented Ms. Black, "and the consensus among my colleagues was that Mr. Deely's body simply was not tolerating the side effects of the intensive chemotherapy drugs the doctors administered. But, there was something unusual about his reactions that I kept noticing with him. For one, the drugs administered this time around were not much different from those provided two years earlier to combat the melanoma, when his side effects were nominal. And secondly, Mr. Deely began experiencing losses of consciousness at random, which is certainly not common with patients receiving chemotherapy."

"That's my baby sister!" beamed Evelyn, "but go on."

"Indeed!" Severus cleared his throat again and continued reading, this time with renewed energy.

It was then that the chemistry laboratory – under the supervision of Oxford alumnus, Pathologist Dr. Paulo Pereira (42) began discovering traces of substances in Mr. Deely's blood work that had no relation to the chemistry in the drugs administered for cancer eradication. Dr. Pereira's team isolated at least twelve different substances, including Arsenic and Nitro-Glycerin, that seemed to have been causing his extraordinary symptoms.

"WHAT THE FU...?" Severus gasped, his black eyes wide as saucers. His superb pharmacological knowledge stemmed from decades of intensive work in the field of magical potions. Muggle chemistry was purely child's play for him and he understood clearly the effects such substances have on the body.

"Shhh... we have impressionable ears around, Love: PLEASE REMEMBER THAT!" Evelyn chided, glancing towards their toddler who was now indulging in licking the remnants of porridge stuck to the bottom of his bowl as his feathered distractions began to vanish.

"Sorry Lyn."

"Nurse Black and I toiled for months, searching for the methods those substance could have found their way into Mr. Deely's system." Said Dr. Pereira, "And due to the fact that he was the only patient affected, we knew – thankfully – that the source was not environmental, at least not in the hospital. But the red flag of foul play was definitely raised for Mr. Deely."

Through her watchful eyes and by analyzing CCTV footage and times visitors spent with her patient, Ms. Black noticed that Mr. Deely's symptoms worsened significantly the days – sometimes hours – following visits from the twins. After several weeks of investigation, not only were the suspicions that the twins bringing their father tainted food confirmed, but Ms. Black also discovered that they injected the substances through his intravenous line as well. The chemistry laboratory confirmed her reports. It was then that Dr. Pereira and Ms. Black took the matter of collecting evidence into their hands and presented it to the authorities.

The twins were arrested within three weeks of Dr. Pereira and Ms. Black's initial confirmation of foul play. The pathologist and the nurse submitted their investigations to the Garda Siochana Irish Police at the end of November and the trial was expedited to take place in early January. Due to the massive attention it was receiving from the media and the public, the trial was moved from Ennis to the larger courthouse in Limerick; a mere five kilometres from the University of Limerick, where Dr. Pereira is an adjunct professor of Chemistry.

At the trial on Friday, which began at 8:00 and lasted until the Jury presented their verdict at 18:40, the pathologist and the nurse gave their final testimony complete with first-hand evidence that was enough to convict the twins of attempted murder and revoked their birthrights.

Mr. Deely – who was not fit to attend the trial – is currently cancer-free and recovering from the incident. He is expected to make a full recovery. His estate is to be split between his life-long friend, American-born large animal veterinarian, Ira Sutterheim (66), and various charitable organizations. Rhiannon Deely will carry her 25-year sentence at Dóchas Women's Correctional Center and her brother Phillip will spend his at Midlands Prison.

A plaque commemorating their efforts will be presented to Dr. Pereira, a native of Oporto, Portugal and Ms. Black, a lifelong resident of Doolin, by the Ennis Chamber of Commerce and the Ennis Community Hospital Administration.

Sure enough, there at the end of the article, were printed the surly mugshots of a gaunt, sandy-haired man and a stout woman with thick eyebrows and light, curly hair that reminded Severus a bit of Daily Prophet journalist (if one would dare to call her work 'Journalism') Rita Skeeter. On the other side of the article was an old photo of Mr. Deely himself: a slight man with graying hair under his tweed cap and a thick moustache, caressing the jaw of a sleek, black horse.

"Ha! Imagine that... Cat on the front page of a newspaper: she must be over the moon! What I would have given to see her face at the sight of this." Severus smirked as he set the clipping back down on the table to relish the remaining crumbs of his breakfast.

"Me too! I'm so glad to see things are looking up for her."

"Hmm..."

Severus absentmindedly nodded his dark head as Evelyn stood to clear the table. Taking Soren onto his lap to thoroughly wipe his face, he again focused his stare at the image of the sharply-dressed chestnut-blonde who he knew all too well and the bespectacled doctor standing by her side lying on the table. The static muggle photograph really didn't reveal much. The day of the trial must have been an awful wintery one in Limerick, as the camera had captured so much snow falling around the human figures that it made the details difficult to discern.

Regardless of the picture's quality, however, Severus' gut instincts had remained edgy as ever at the notion of his sister-in-law being in a committed relationship; one that seemed to be getting increasingly serious with each passing day since he heard the news. The last time Caitlin was involved so deeply with a man had been with the drunk piece-of-shit she married almost immediately after graduating from secondary school. Predictably, it turned out to be a nightmare of a union for the entire Black family – including the two innocent girls who resulted from it. It was a nightmare where Severus himself had little choice but to step in and give the wanker his final ultimatum, meanwhile breaching several wizarding laws in the process.

Since surviving the injuries he sustained at the final climax of the Second Wizarding War, no other incident has left a worst taste in his mouth than his pyrrhic victory in the battle to oust Sean-fucking-Sullivan out of all their lives for good. Years later the worthless sod met his demise in an alcohol-related car wreck, which – while desperately sad Severus knew the situation must have been for his nieces – truly brought a sense of relief for entire family.

In the time since her brother-in-law permanently banned Sean from ever seeing her and their daughters, Alice and Elizabeth again, Caitlin had dated a few men here and there, though no relationship was ever considered serious or long-lasting. Even fewer, if any, of those flings ended in tears or much drama at all. For a long time, it seemed she wanted it that way; life was good, just her, the girls, and her mother Sophia across the street in their quiet corner of Doolin.

However, this time it's different. Caitlin's shifts in the hospital had normalized since she recently became Unit Director of Oncology Nursing at the hospital and was now working five days a week with a 6am – 3pm schedule. While it must have felt great for her at first, freeing up her afternoons to do as she wished, it likely made her loneliness appear all the more real. Knowing Caitlin well, Severus deduced that she must have buried that loneliness deep in her soul for four years; since her eldest daughter Alice turned eleven years old and enrolled at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry – where he and Evelyn teach Defensive Magic and Muggle Studies, respectively. Since then, the girl spent more time with her aunt and uncle than she did with her mother, sister and grandmother. Once Soren arrived, Alice even regarded him more like 'her baby brother she never had' than her cousin.

Severus should have guessed that it was only a matter of time before Caitlin would find someone of more permanent standing. While he would never outwardly admit it, he understood that it was only fair. After all, the prospect of spending her golden years alone, particularly when he and her sister were enjoying familial bliss, must be agonizing for a social butterfly like Caitlin. It was a dark and foreboding prospect Severus knew all too well, though he did not fully understand it until he met Evelyn and his own dark and lonely life suddenly became illuminated and full.

He took the clipping in his hand again and thoroughly analyzed the photo of Dr. Pereira. He seemed harmless enough with that tight, beaming smile that caused his cheeks to parenthesize his mouth, but photos are all too often deceiving. Sullivan looked the part of a handsome Christmas angel in his photographs, what with his ridiculous grin, cheerful blue eyes (no doubt the booze was making him squint!) and strawberry blond hair waving gloriously about his forehead! God only knew what this Iberian wanker could be up to...

Thus far all the information Severus had gathered of Pereira was his name, age, higher education, profession, ethnic origin, and that he suffers from some sort of vision impairment. This article and photo alone would not ease his anxiety. Thankfully, it was a Saturday and Severus had a full day ahead of him with little else to do but research as much as he could of the new entity that was stroking his ego in all the wrong directions. Well... he did have to meet Artemis Meadows for unrelated business in Warwick in about an hour anyways, but that would only take a second. Oxford is right around the corner from Warrick! It wouldn't hurt anyone if he stopped by the campus to snoop around a bit, would it?
Suddenly, Soren's excited bounces on his left thigh startled him from his reverie.

"Bath, mummy! Bath!" Soren's black eyes were eager and large as he kept his balance while holding onto Severus' shoulder and watched as his mother finished washing the dishes.

"You must be freezing, huh Half-Pint?"

"FECKING cold, Daddy!"

"Don't worry, son. Mummy's preparing a nice, warm bath to thaw you out. Do you need to go to the lav before bath time?"

"No, Daddy! Bath!" The boy seemed obsessed with water. Ever since he was eight months old and his parents began giving him swimming lessons in the lake behind their home, any puddle, basin, bucket, pool, lake, pond and ocean lured him like a siren song.

"Alright, Soren. Are you sure?" Severus asked the boy, raising an authoritative, skeptical eyebrow. He was astounded at Soren's inherent lust for independence and how he had taken to potty-training as promptly as he had started talking – tremendous feats for a male child that age. But the process was not yet complete, and Soren was still not quite ready for 'big boy knickers'.

"Yes!" he nodded earnestly.

Severus rolled the sleeves of his robe above his elbows and stood while holding Soren close to his body, and sat him on the kitchen counter where Evelyn was filling one half of the basin with warm water. He felt Soren shivering as he removed his porridge-laden shirt, socks and nappies and hugged him again before gently sitting him in his bathwater.

"Warm now, Daddy." The boy relished, as his father poured the warm water over him with a measuring cup.

"Damn, Half-Pint, you really were cold!"

"Language, dear... Language!" sang Evelyn while she stored away the clean dishes, as Severus meanwhile lathered his son's dark, porridge-matted hair with baby shampoo.

"Right... Darn. So have you got any plans today, Lyn."

"Well, as you know, the kids are visiting the village today. I was hoping to meet up with Alice and take her shopping with Soren and me. Why? What's up your sleeve?"

"I have to meet Mrs. Meadows in Warrick to give her those documents Minerva and I found in the archives. You know... the ones on her family members who died while serving the Order?"

"Ah, yes. The poor dear... So sad. What about after that?"

"And afterward...? Well since you ladies will be having an estrogen-fueled day to yourselves, you wouldn't want me hiding in the corners complaining. I guess I'll linger around the library... there's something I want to research."

Evelyn turned to look at her husband with a quizzical expression across her dark, eagle-like eyebrows. "Oh... on what, Love?"

"Just satisfying my usual personal curiosities... I want to take advantage of the school being three-fifths devoid of students." Severus' eyes suddenly glazed as his mind drifted into deep thought and he continued to absentmindedly bathe his son. If he remembered correctly, a muggle university library would be swarming with students on a Saturday in the middle of February, if only because it was likely the warmest building on campus.

Evelyn was not entirely convinced, "I see."

Severus had just finished thoroughly washing every inch of Soren when Evelyn left the kitchen to finish preparing herself for a day spent with her 16-year-old niece. He summoned one of the child's plushy towels printed with a pattern of friendly, cartoonish marine creatures and gestured with the towel spread widely in his parted hands for him to stand.

Soren stood on the counter so his father could scoop him in his towel and dry him in the warmth of his arms. Noticing his plump, white belly was exposed he hugged his son tightly, nuzzling his oversized nose gently on the smooth skin around his navel as he exhaled a blast of warm air on to it. "Warmer now, Half-Pint?"

"Yes, Daddy!"

"Excellent! You're a tough little wizard... A silly thing like cold weather won't stop you from raising your usual amounts of hell, right? Naaaah...!"

Soren giggled loudly. Severus then recalled that his son inherited a sensitive patch of skin around the lower abdomen that was extraordinarily ticklish from him. The stubbly hairs from his overgrown beard must have touched it. He supposed should shave and trim his goatee, since he was to meet with a woman affiliated with the Order of the Phoenix and it would be right to look presentable... even if it was only a brief exchange of paperwork. Even more importantly, he needed to blend in as well as possible amongst the staff and student body of Oxford University, and it just wouldn't do any good resembling a common vagrant. While shaving on the weekends was against his principles, he supposed that one Saturday wouldn't kill him, particularly for the sake of fulfilling such a mission.

He gazed out the kitchen towards where Evelyn had gone and Soren's dark eyes followed his. With his cheek still on Soren's belly, he huffed. "So it seems you might be getting an uncle in the near future... well, unless that Lusitanian quack is cleaner than Sir Galahad's bed sheets, not on Dad's watch." He smirked, letting out a short snicker, "No, sir! It's my duty as Patriarch to keep you all safe, and I won't fail you now or ever. You, Mum, Aunt Cat, Alice, Lizzie, even Gran! Pay attention when I tell you this son, because you're next in line. Did I survive two wars only to risk losing those I love most again just because your aunt's got crap taste in men? Hell no! Think Mum's knickers will get in a twist if she finds Dad plans to make a quick jaunt to Oxford and perform a wee background check on Aunt Cat's new linguiça?"

He lowered Soren so that father and son were at eye-level. He was certain the toddler captured at least part of his one-sided dialog. "Knickers... Knickers, Daddy. Mummy and Gran's Knickers!"

"Ha... Yes I do believe you're right, Half-Pint. Well, you see Dad's got to do what Dad's got to do... and it's what's best for all of us. But Mummy's lovely knickers will indeed be in quite a twist when she finds out... well, so be it. And Gran's? Ehh, let's not think of Gran's knickers, shall we? Mummy's are so much nicer."

"When get bigboy knickers?"

"Oh you want to sport knickers like the big boys, do you? Well, let's see if you can... PASS THE TEST!" Severus quickly drew in a deep breath and pressed his mouth tightly over Soren's exposed navel, blowing in a massive raspberry which sent the child into a fit of shrieking laugher. Of course, he first made certain the boy's unclad nether regions were buffered by the towel. He did just eat a decent breakfast, after all. Checking its fabric, he noticed it was clean and released a sigh of relief.

"Wow, Soren, I'm impressed! I'd say you'll be strutting around in Big Boy Knickers in no time."

Soren suddenly became very fidgety and insisted on being put on the ground. "Go Lav!"

"Oh God, I should have known it was only a matter of time..." Severus grumbled. However, he looked into Soren's black eyes, so much like his own, and quickly regained his composure.

"There's a good lad, Soren! Well let's go together. That way Dad can shave and clean up while you're busy, eh?" He then took Soren by his tiny hand and, as he insisted, walked him to the lavatory.

Once their morning ablutions were completed, father and son were both bundled up to face the winter weather outside. Severus grabbed his satchel, leaving Soren in his mother's arms and pulled them both into a tight embrace. He kissed each of them good bye and patted his son's freshly-cleaned head.

Evelyn bore her golden brown eyes into her husband's black orbs. Her instincts were flaring their sirens, alerting her that he was up to something less than benevolent. "Will you be back by lunchtime, Sev? I had planned to make sandwiches for Alice and me after we return from shopping."

"How soon will that be?"

"Don't count on us lasting at the shops past one. Not with Soren in tow and definitely not in this weather, even with two of us trying to keep his mind occupied."

"Well, then probably later than that."

"Alright. See you later then. Good luck!"

Severus kissed his wife deeply and smiled, "I love you, Lyn!"

"I love you too."

He then kissed Soren on his forehead, just beneath the green and blue merino wool hat that covered his ears. "Looks like you're the man of the house now, Half-Pint. Take good care of the girls for me, will you!"

"Bye-bye, Daddy!"

Jogging through the snow to the middle of his back yard, Severus waved to his family and disapparated with a loud 'POP', appearing on a hill overlooking the Town of Warrick. The temperatures were slightly warmer than they were in Scotland and the sun was out, giving the snow-covered view of the village a picturesque postcard appeal.

'Bloody hell, these bastards down south...' he thought as he lit a fag with the tip of his wand, 'Always hoarding good climates!'